








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 252 matches | ||
| Wingman | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 24 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2902 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,938 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 971 | 14% |
| Smokes | 2331 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 2620 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 1016 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $839,170 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 238 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | JJ | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | kiss yo daddy goodnight445 | 50% | 398 |
| #4 | p47hf1nd3r.r34l | 45% | 97 |
| #5 | [Waifus <3] | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | 57% | 54 |
| #2 | JJ | 56% | 39 |
| #3 | kiss yo daddy goodnight445 | 50% | 398 |
| #4 | p47hf1nd3r.r34l | 45% | 97 |
| #5 | [Waifus <3] | 43% | 56 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiss yo daddy goodnight445 | 11 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | p47hf1nd3r.r34l | 9 | 0.0044 |
| #3 | [Waifus <3] | 5 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #5 | JJ | 3 | 0.0036 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kiss yo daddy goodnight445 | 682 | 0.09 | 14 min |
| #2 | p47hf1nd3r.r34l | 202 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | 119 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | JJ | 95 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | [Waifus <3] | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JJ | +5.65 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | p47hf1nd3r.r34l | +2.34 | 67 | 52 |
| #3 | Space Satellite -iwnl- | +1.91 | 58 | 55 |
| #4 | [Waifus <3] | +1.66 | 47 | 46 |
| #5 | lil'assassin | -0.55 | 54 | 37 |





