








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 106 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 33 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1066 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,064 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 901 | 29% |
| Smokes | 763 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 585 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 815 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $142,652 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 328 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thaskow ツ | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | eSx- | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | rioTAAANK | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Deartslash | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Beethoven | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Thaskow ツ | 86% | 7 |
| #2 | eSx- | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | rioTAAANK | 54% | 13 |
| #4 | Deartslash | 50% | 12 |
| #5 | Beethoven | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rioTAAANK | 1 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Deartslash | 1 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | eSx- | 47 | 0.20 | 1 min |
| #2 | Deartslash | 44 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #3 | rioTAAANK | 35 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | Beethoven | 24 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #5 | Thaskow ツ | 22 | 0.16 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rioTAAANK | +1.85 | 90 | 66 |
| #2 | martin le pécheur | +1.24 | 86 | 55 |
| #3 | Thaskow ツ | +0.97 | 76 | 66 |
| #4 | eSx- | +0.89 | 86 | 60 |
| #5 | Deartslash | +0.74 | 78 | 65 |





