








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1673 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,426 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1303 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1915 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 945 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1263 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $329,857 of utility $111 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 355 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sipofcola | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | -sprukeii- | 60% | 10 |
| #3 | siperak | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | Aston | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | ✪ Bimme | 54% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | siperak | 56% | 34 |
| #4 | Aston | 56% | 9 |
| #5 | ✪ Bimme | 54% | 28 |
| #6 | Mist | 50% | 12 |
| #7 | martin le pécheur | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | siperak | 5 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | -sprukeii- | 3 | 0.0146 |
| #3 | ✪ Bimme | 1 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | sipofcola | 1 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | martin le pécheur | 1 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Bimme | 94 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #2 | siperak | 88 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | sipofcola | 72 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #4 | Aston | 63 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #5 | martin le pécheur | 32 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mist | +2.60 | 93 | 55 |
| #2 | siperak | +1.65 | 83 | 64 |
| #3 | Beethoven | +1.49 | 89 | 64 |
| #4 | sipofcola | +1.48 | 86 | 65 |
| #5 | -sprukeii- | -0.39 | 76 | 43 |





