








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 612 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 427 matches | ||
| Faceit | 124 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 91 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5585 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,467 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6301 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6840 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 6419 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 4907 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,915,109 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 266 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sully | 59% | 76 |
| #2 | §amm¥ | 56% | 68 |
| #3 | ChillinDan | 50% | 346 |
| #4 | Doc | 50% | 218 |
| #5 | Hyper | 50% | 547 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | §amm¥ | 56% | 68 |
| #3 | ChillinDan | 50% | 346 |
| #4 | Doc | 50% | 218 |
| #5 | Hyper | 50% | 547 |
| #6 | Mazbu | 48% | 401 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyper | 32 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | ChillinDan | 25 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Mazbu | 16 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | §amm¥ | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #5 | Doc | 2 | 0.0004 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hyper | 1525 | 0.13 | 38 min |
| #2 | Mazbu | 358 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #3 | sully | 247 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Doc | 203 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | ChillinDan | 143 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sully | +2.22 | 79 | 62 |
| #2 | Hyper | +1.18 | 71 | 55 |
| #3 | nstasiak2 | +0.45 | 54 | 63 |
| #4 | ChillinDan | -0.68 | 51 | 37 |
| #5 | Doc | -0.69 | 64 | 56 |





