








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 576 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 358 matches | ||
| Faceit | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 66 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6025 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,114 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4536 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4227 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2471 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 4880 | 30% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,777,724 of utility $147 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 234 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sully | 59% | 74 |
| #2 | §amm¥ | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | ChillinDan | 50% | 321 |
| #4 | nstasiak2 | 50% | 547 |
| #5 | Doc | 49% | 217 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | §amm¥ | 52% | 52 |
| #3 | ChillinDan | 50% | 321 |
| #4 | nstasiak2 | 50% | 547 |
| #5 | Doc | 49% | 217 |
| #6 | Mazbu | 48% | 372 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nstasiak2 | 27 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | ChillinDan | 23 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | Mazbu | 13 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Doc | 2 | 0.0004 |
| #5 | sully | 2 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nstasiak2 | 1833 | 0.16 | 45 min |
| #2 | Mazbu | 331 | 0.04 | 8 min |
| #3 | sully | 242 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | Doc | 204 | 0.04 | 7 min |
| #5 | ChillinDan | 131 | 0.02 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sully | +2.14 | 78 | 62 |
| #2 | Hyper | +1.13 | 71 | 55 |
| #3 | nstasiak2 | +0.31 | 53 | 64 |
| #4 | Doc | -0.77 | 64 | 55 |
| #5 | ChillinDan | -0.88 | 52 | 39 |





