








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 533 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 566 matches | ||
| Faceit | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 42 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6546 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,514 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2287 | 13% |
| Smokes | 5595 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 4840 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 4792 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,164,976 of utility $139 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 252 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ChillinDan | 50% | 154 |
| #2 | nstasiak2 | 50% | 218 |
| #3 | Hyper | 49% | 217 |
| #4 | Meow Bitch | 47% | 77 |
| #5 | ChillinJay | 46% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Hyper | 49% | 217 |
| #4 | Meow Bitch | 47% | 77 |
| #5 | ChillinJay | 46% | 81 |
| #6 | Mazbu | 42% | 158 |
| #7 | Vladimir | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nstasiak2 | 15 | 0.0031 |
| #2 | Hyper | 13 | 0.0027 |
| #3 | ChillinDan | 13 | 0.0038 |
| #4 | Meow Bitch | 10 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Vladimir | 7 | 0.0077 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nstasiak2 | 764 | 0.16 | 19 min |
| #2 | Hyper | 596 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | Mazbu | 152 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | Meow Bitch | 91 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | ChillinDan | 65 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Meow Bitch | +1.93 | 58 | 54 |
| #2 | Hyper | +1.67 | 71 | 56 |
| #3 | nstasiak2 | +0.53 | 52 | 66 |
| #4 | Doc | +0.45 | 66 | 52 |
| #5 | ChillinDan | -1.06 | 52 | 40 |





