








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 482 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 97 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2350 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,553 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1070 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1506 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2098 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 1879 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,399,569 of utility $185 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 93 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Defuser | 39% | 296 |
| #2 | IClapCheeks | 38% | 197 |
| #3 | hot but psycho | 36% | 42 |
| #4 | Wie geil Boning | 35% | 332 |
| #5 | SANDY | 30% | 238 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | IClapCheeks | 38% | 197 |
| #3 | hot but psycho | 36% | 42 |
| #4 | Wie geil Boning | 35% | 332 |
| #5 | SANDY | 30% | 238 |
| #6 | FighterTom | 28% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wie geil Boning | 16 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | IClapCheeks | 12 | 0.0030 |
| #3 | The Defuser | 8 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | hot but psycho | 8 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | SANDY | 7 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IClapCheeks | 379 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #2 | Wie geil Boning | 89 | 0.01 | 2 min |
| #3 | FighterTom | 51 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | hot but psycho | 48 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #5 | SANDY | 38 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IClapCheeks | +9.01 | 82 | 64 |
| #2 | hot but psycho | +5.50 | 55 | 53 |
| #3 | FighterTom | +2.57 | 46 | 48 |
| #4 | Wie geil Boning | -1.22 | 26 | 38 |
| #5 | Michiiiiii | -1.34 | 21 | 40 |





