








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,375 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 620 | 26% |
| Smokes | 514 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 802 | 34% |
| Molotovs | 439 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $189,733 of utility $102 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 22 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fonzwoods | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | justblaze | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | jshipp | 60% | 47 |
| #4 | Ian | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | Cocaina Supremo | 44% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | jshipp | 60% | 47 |
| #4 | Ian | 55% | 38 |
| #5 | Cocaina Supremo | 44% | 9 |
| #6 | PantPooper | 39% | 33 |
| #7 | Denni | 20% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jshipp | 17 | 0.0181 |
| #2 | PantPooper | 14 | 0.0212 |
| #3 | Ian | 7 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | justblaze | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Fonzwoods | 1 | 0.0070 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ian | 125 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | justblaze | 111 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | jshipp | 49 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | PantPooper | 27 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #5 | Fonzwoods | 21 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | justblaze | +4.99 | 89 | 51 |
| #2 | jshipp | +1.63 | 92 | 43 |
| #3 | DReaMz | +0.82 | 85 | 60 |
| #4 | Ian | -0.33 | 67 | 58 |
| #5 | Denni | -2.09 | 47 | 53 |





