








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 29 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 18 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,869 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 456 | 24% |
| Smokes | 264 | 14% |
| HE Grenades | 652 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 497 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $66,995 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xandrei | 55% | 11 |
| #2 | a1ko_ | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Puneet Ballabh | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | rat colony | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | Free Brisket | 36% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | a1ko_ | 50% | 18 |
| #3 | Puneet Ballabh | 46% | 28 |
| #4 | rat colony | 41% | 29 |
| #5 | Free Brisket | 36% | 11 |
| #6 | Hammer World Editor | 17% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puneet Ballabh | 7 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | a1ko_ | 4 | 0.0104 |
| #3 | Free Brisket | 4 | 0.0167 |
| #4 | xandrei | 1 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Hammer World Editor | 1 | 0.0072 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | rat colony | 53 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #2 | Puneet Ballabh | 37 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | a1ko_ | 7 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #4 | xandrei | 6 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | Free Brisket | 4 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Free Brisket | +2.29 | 63 | 12 |
| #2 | Hammer World Editor | +1.25 | 56 | 10 |
| #3 | Jennxyz | +0.54 | 59 | 53 |
| #4 | xandrei | +0.34 | 54 | 13 |
| #5 | a1ko_ | -0.18 | 77 | 17 |





