








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 374 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 122 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Renown | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




95 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4121 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 154 | 22% |
| Smokes | 158 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 188 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 187 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $90,426 of utility $13 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 947 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | xandrei | 51% | 111 |
| #10 | Puneet Ballabh | 50% | 122 |
| #11 | AirDog46 | 50% | 123 |
| #12 | PatRyk | 48% | 25 |
| #13 | 猫娘が大好き | 46% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xandrei | 36 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | a1ko_ | 33 | 0.0197 |
| #3 | Free Brisket | 29 | 0.0186 |
| #4 | AirDog46 | 25 | 0.0102 |
| #5 | Bettonn | 18 | 0.0183 |





