








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 126 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Renown | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




137 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3680 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,952 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1374 | 28% |
| Smokes | 456 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 2706 | 55% |
| Molotovs | 416 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $816,533 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2932 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mivshy | 58% | 26 |
| #2 | rj | 57% | 30 |
| #3 | Bettonn | 52% | 27 |
| #4 | Puneet Ballabh | 52% | 186 |
| #5 | Hammer World Editor | 51% | 111 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Free Brisket | 50% | 119 |
| #9 | a1ko_ | 46% | 68 |
| #10 | AirDog46 | 42% | 182 |
| #11 | PatRyk | 38% | 42 |
| #12 | 猫娘が大好き | 38% | 80 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AirDog46 | 65 | 0.0183 |
| #2 | Free Brisket | 42 | 0.0181 |
| #3 | Hammer World Editor | 33 | 0.0147 |
| #4 | a1ko_ | 29 | 0.0218 |
| #5 | 猫娘が大好き | 26 | 0.0169 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Puneet Ballabh | 297 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #2 | Free Brisket | 149 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | 猫娘が大好き | 80 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | DOMBABWE WARRIOR | 80 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | a1ko_ | 63 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hammer World Editor | +4.09 | 48 | 10 |
| #2 | Free Brisket | +1.94 | 60 | 25 |
| #3 | Bettonn | +1.80 | 81 | 41 |
| #4 | xandrei | +0.98 | 50 | 32 |
| #5 | Mivshy | +0.97 | 66 | 42 |





