








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 863 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 272 matches | ||
| Faceit | 86 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 28 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3334 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,816 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2978 | 20% |
| Smokes | 4615 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 4136 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 3087 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,967,614 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 483 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illwill | 54% | 24 |
| #2 | tito | 54% | 227 |
| #3 | Gen the King of UwU | 53% | 210 |
| #4 | Goblin Mode | 50% | 232 |
| #5 | ✪ TheViolentSushi | 49% | 145 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | ✪ TheViolentSushi | 49% | 145 |
| #6 | Papa Francesco | 48% | 90 |
| #7 | manny | 43% | 42 |
| #8 | ✪ StevieJV | 35% | 23 |
| #9 | LaFlame | 35% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tito | 3 | 0.0006 |
| #2 | Gen the King of UwU | 3 | 0.0007 |
| #3 | Papa Francesco | 2 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | LaFlame | 2 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Goblin Mode | 1 | 0.0002 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goblin Mode | 1046 | 0.21 | 28 min |
| #2 | Gen the King of UwU | 1022 | 0.22 | 29 min |
| #3 | tito | 871 | 0.18 | 23 min |
| #4 | ✪ TheViolentSushi | 611 | 0.20 | 15 min |
| #5 | manny | 252 | 0.28 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tito | +1.55 | 72 | 71 |
| #2 | illwill | +1.20 | 67 | 70 |
| #3 | Gen the King of UwU | +0.34 | 75 | 72 |
| #4 | Papa Francesco | +0.33 | 62 | 70 |
| #5 | ✪ TheViolentSushi | -0.04 | 55 | 55 |





