








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 255 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3322 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,964 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4601 | 31% |
| Smokes | 4285 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 2228 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 3850 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $636,599 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 396 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kumquat III | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | LO PEEK | 52% | 27 |
| #3 | tito | 51% | 81 |
| #4 | Gen the King of UwU | 49% | 77 |
| #5 | manny | 49% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | Goblin Mode | 46% | 91 |
| #8 | ✪ StevieJV | 45% | 58 |
| #9 | ✪ TheViolentSushi | 44% | 55 |
| #10 | Papa Francesco | 35% | 62 |
| #11 | Jeapr | 35% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gen the King of UwU | 6 | 0.0039 |
| #2 | Papa Francesco | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | ✪ StevieJV | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | manny | 2 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | illwill | 2 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Goblin Mode | 363 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #2 | tito | 311 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #3 | Gen the King of UwU | 276 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #4 | manny | 249 | 0.35 | 6 min |
| #5 | ✪ StevieJV | 233 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | illwill | +2.33 | 69 | 67 |
| #2 | ✪ StevieJV | +2.10 | 65 | 65 |
| #3 | tito | +0.94 | 72 | 68 |
| #4 | Goblin Mode | +0.26 | 64 | 69 |
| #5 | Gen the King of UwU | +0.10 | 72 | 72 |





