








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 554 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 367 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 77 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 69 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




37 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6126 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8300 | 31% |
| Smokes | 7377 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5475 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 5242 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,292,997 of utility $130 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 294 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UUUUOOOOHHHH | 54% | 247 |
| #2 | gbc NateDog | 54% | 207 |
| #3 | Heisenberg | 52% | 127 |
| #4 | Guy Milk | 49% | 496 |
| #5 | shord | 48% | 219 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guy Milk | 26 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | UUUUOOOOHHHH | 18 | 0.0036 |
| #3 | Miggy+ | 13 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | shord | 13 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | gbc NateDog | 11 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Guy Milk | 2125 | 0.21 | 62 min |
| #2 | shord | 955 | 0.22 | 24 min |
| #3 | Miggy+ | 879 | 0.14 | 27 min |
| #4 | UUUUOOOOHHHH | 756 | 0.15 | 20 min |
| #5 | gbc NateDog | 306 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UUUUOOOOHHHH | +1.62 | 69 | 72 |
| #2 | gbc NateDog | +1.10 | 78 | 53 |
| #3 | yung baddie | +0.10 | 71 | 64 |
| #4 | Guy Milk | -0.21 | 63 | 74 |
| #5 | shord | -0.23 | 65 | 69 |





