








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 17 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
964 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,718 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 643 | 37% |
| Smokes | 372 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 393 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 310 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $228,432 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 103 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pinkcut | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | bootlegm0NESY | 100% | 8 |
| #3 | smxx | 83% | 6 |
| #4 | moooks | 83% | 12 |
| #5 | `ReiWhite | 82% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | `ReiWhite | 82% | 11 |
| #6 | 鬼.JW | 76% | 45 |
| #7 | ステーキ | 70% | 10 |
| #8 | smoo | 60% | 5 |
| #9 | MAJIN | 60% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 鬼.JW | 9 | 0.0107 |
| #2 | moooks | 5 | 0.0224 |
| #3 | ステーキ | 3 | 0.0160 |
| #4 | smxx | 1 | 0.0092 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ステーキ | 46 | 0.25 | 1 min |
| #2 | 鬼.JW | 45 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #3 | moooks | 18 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | `ReiWhite | 13 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | bootlegm0NESY | 12 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | smxx | +5.31 | 77 | 48 |
| #2 | bootlegm0NESY | +4.60 | 81 | 31 |
| #3 | pinkcut | +4.59 | 82 | 30 |
| #4 | Salvestro | +4.18 | 93 | 58 |
| #5 | MAJIN | +3.43 | 75 | 60 |





