








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 328 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 299 matches | ||
| Wingman | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 111 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3662 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5968 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4366 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 6479 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 3703 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $669,871 of utility $76 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3650 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shit Eater | 26 | 0.0071 |
| #2 | big dumb | 25 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Ajabaja | 19 | 0.0130 |
| #4 | Fender on a bender | 17 | 0.0084 |
| #5 | Schvenn | 13 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big dumb | 477 | 0.13 | 11 min |
| #2 | Schvenn | 441 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #3 | snork | 286 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Haptawow | 229 | 0.21 | 7 min |
| #5 | Recal | 223 | 0.08 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haptawow | +5.56 | 92 | 81 |
| #2 | Shit Eater | +1.90 | 81 | 47 |
| #3 | big dumb | +1.87 | 81 | 73 |
| #4 | snork | +0.57 | 74 | 57 |
| #5 | Raggy | +0.04 | 56 | 57 |





