








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 618 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Faceit | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




64 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3103 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,031 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1527 | 25% |
| Smokes | 2267 | 38% |
| HE Grenades | 1473 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 764 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $982,807 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 509 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Recal | 53% | 123 |
| #11 | 1337enKEWKEN | 52% | 177 |
| #12 | pain train dwein | 52% | 66 |
| #13 | Haptawow | 47% | 47 |
| #14 | crnac | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1337enKEWKEN | 29 | 0.0079 |
| #2 | Fender on a bender | 25 | 0.0138 |
| #3 | snork | 17 | 0.0172 |
| #4 | big dumb | 16 | 0.0079 |
| #5 | pain train dwein | 12 | 0.0088 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1337enKEWKEN | 556 | 0.15 | 13 min |
| #2 | Schvenn | 334 | 0.20 | 9 min |
| #3 | big dumb | 267 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #4 | pain train dwein | 254 | 0.19 | 7 min |
| #5 | Recal | 224 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haptawow | +4.83 | 90 | 83 |
| #2 | big dumb | +2.80 | 80 | 73 |
| #3 | Shit Eater | +2.18 | 80 | 47 |
| #4 | snork | +0.95 | 79 | 56 |
| #5 | Schvenn | +0.60 | 72 | 58 |





