








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 117 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




60 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2660 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,143 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 844 | 16% |
| Smokes | 1068 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2021 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1210 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $687,046 of utility $96 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 537 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaggy | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | XtremeDuncan | 53% | 92 |
| #3 | Zarr | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | chimp | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Kawaii Bunga | 43% | 270 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shaggy | 59% | 29 |
| #2 | XtremeDuncan | 53% | 92 |
| #3 | Zarr | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | chimp | 48% | 73 |
| #5 | Kawaii Bunga | 43% | 270 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kawaii Bunga | 37 | 0.0080 |
| #2 | XtremeDuncan | 30 | 0.0166 |
| #3 | Zarr | 18 | 0.0361 |
| #4 | chimp | 12 | 0.0085 |
| #5 | Shaggy | 6 | 0.0107 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kawaii Bunga | 396 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #2 | XtremeDuncan | 364 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #3 | chimp | 224 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Shaggy | 59 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Zarr | 29 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zarr | +5.54 | 77 | 35 |
| #2 | XtremeDuncan | +3.82 | 61 | 68 |
| #3 | Shaggy | +3.07 | 45 | 38 |
| #4 | chimp | +0.96 | 48 | 68 |
| #5 | Kawaii Bunga | -0.63 | 46 | 45 |





