










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1609 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 103 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 67 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Premier | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 145 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




208 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7534 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,552 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3317 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1869 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 4112 | 39% |
| Molotovs | 1254 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,553,023 of utility $248 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2596 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chimp | 46% | 316 |
| #2 | Ryno | 45% | 103 |
| #3 | XtremeDuncan | 44% | 176 |
| #4 | YellowMonkee | 44% | 529 |
| #5 | weebsaucey | 44% | 296 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Bingus | 39% | 77 |
| #9 | Myzirix | 38% | 48 |
| #10 | DarkKarma | 37% | 115 |
| #11 | Shaggy | 35% | 65 |
| #12 | Patick | 30% | 37 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YellowMonkee | 141 | 0.0135 |
| #2 | XtremeDuncan | 61 | 0.0174 |
| #3 | weebsaucey | 53 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | chimp | 43 | 0.0068 |
| #5 | Bingus | 12 | 0.0078 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YellowMonkee | 1819 | 0.17 | 35 min |
| #2 | chimp | 1082 | 0.17 | 31 min |
| #3 | weebsaucey | 719 | 0.13 | 16 min |
| #4 | XtremeDuncan | 651 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #5 | Funny Monkey | 293 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zarr | +2.25 | 77 | 46 |
| #2 | XtremeDuncan | +1.53 | 63 | 67 |
| #3 | Shaggy | +1.21 | 45 | 42 |
| #4 | Ryno | +0.96 | 58 | 47 |
| #5 | chimp | -0.12 | 46 | 77 |





