








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1167 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 307 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 67 matches | ||
| Wingman | 65 matches | ||
| Faceit | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4040 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,542 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7238 | 29% |
| Smokes | 4471 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 7262 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 5571 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $858,422 of utility $80 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 876 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drarroph | 57% | 42 |
| #2 | s_pAn | 49% | 192 |
| #3 | J0d | 47% | 213 |
| #4 | ichwillBaum | 47% | 36 |
| #5 | HUI GRAX | 47% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0d | 537 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #2 | s_pAn | 280 | 0.07 | 8 min |
| #3 | HUI GRAX | 270 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #4 | Bober | 166 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | beyond96_ | 157 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s_pAn | +2.06 | 76 | 57 |
| #2 | J0d | +1.28 | 77 | 64 |
| #3 | HUI GRAX | +0.90 | 56 | 67 |
| #4 | PHANSKY | -0.20 | 45 | 73 |
| #5 | drarroph | -0.65 | 62 | 58 |





