








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 179 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 51 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,830 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 491 | 17% |
| Smokes | 788 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 917 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 634 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $784,630 of utility $261 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 17 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | HUI GRAX | 49% | 35 |
| #8 | ichwillBaum | 45% | 22 |
| #9 | Treys | 44% | 39 |
| #10 | beyond96_ | 42% | 48 |
| #11 | Bober | 40% | 40 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | beyond96_ | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | HUI GRAX | 3 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | s_pAn | 2 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | J0d | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | PHANSKY | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K03 | 122 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #2 | PHANSKY | 120 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | J0d | 118 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #4 | Treys | 99 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Bober | 97 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | J0d | +2.03 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | s_pAn | +1.67 | 73 | 61 |
| #3 | beyond96_ | +1.55 | 66 | 63 |
| #4 | HUI GRAX | +1.09 | 54 | 66 |
| #5 | PHANSKY | +0.13 | 44 | 72 |





