








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 787 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Wingman | 29 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3252 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,245 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1547 | 19% |
| Smokes | 1543 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 3473 | 42% |
| Molotovs | 1682 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,064,920 of utility $176 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 190 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | drarroph | 59% | 27 |
| #2 | J0d | 53% | 187 |
| #3 | PHANSKY | 49% | 192 |
| #4 | ichwillBaum | 47% | 17 |
| #5 | HUI GRAX | 45% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | s_pAn | +2.15 | 76 | 55 |
| #2 | J0d | +1.53 | 75 | 63 |
| #3 | PHANSKY | -0.29 | 42 | 74 |
| #4 | HUI GRAX | -0.48 | 52 | 66 |
| #5 | beyond96_ | -1.08 | 68 | 66 |





