








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 8 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 95 matches | ||
| Premier | 82 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,601 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2335 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2273 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2052 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1941 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $258,974 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Электрошокеры | 64% | 58 |
| #2 | Hui Hai | 59% | 76 |
| #3 | JN | 59% | 44 |
| #4 | Machokommando | 58% | 12 |
| #5 | TIITI | 57% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | devastor | 55% | 98 |
| #8 | Anze | 53% | 103 |
| #9 | tosis | 52% | 79 |
| #10 | aLT | 43% | 14 |
| #11 | Scorbutus | 29% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | devastor | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | Hui Hai | 5 | 0.0032 |
| #3 | tosis | 3 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | Электрошокеры | 1 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | TIITI | 1 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tosis | 286 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #2 | devastor | 116 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Nalle | 111 | 0.36 | 2 min |
| #4 | JN | 101 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | Электрошокеры | 96 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Электрошокеры | +2.93 | 62 | 75 |
| #2 | Anze | +0.87 | 72 | 42 |
| #3 | JN | +0.23 | 70 | 80 |
| #4 | ProVi | +0.19 | 73 | 69 |
| #5 | tosis | +0.06 | 70 | 72 |





