








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 504 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 291 matches | ||
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Wingman | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3511 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,200 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1847 | 15% |
| Smokes | 4863 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 2463 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 3027 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,771,313 of utility $182 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 583 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TIITI | 60% | 30 |
| #2 | ProVi | 59% | 76 |
| #3 | Электрошокеры | 58% | 138 |
| #4 | aLT | 57% | 86 |
| #5 | T33MU | 55% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | devastor | 52% | 235 |
| #11 | Jone | 52% | 29 |
| #12 | Elisanliittyma | 50% | 42 |
| #13 | Scorbutus | 43% | 72 |
| #14 | Nalle | 40% | 62 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jone | 13 | 0.0221 |
| #2 | devastor | 7 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | tosis | 6 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Электрошокеры | 3 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | ProVi | 2 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JN | 436 | 0.15 | 12 min |
| #2 | Nalle | 421 | 0.30 | 11 min |
| #3 | tosis | 420 | 0.19 | 12 min |
| #4 | devastor | 302 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #5 | Электрошокеры | 278 | 0.09 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Электрошокеры | +2.66 | 70 | 76 |
| #2 | aLT | +2.02 | 77 | 68 |
| #3 | T33MU | +1.83 | 78 | 81 |
| #4 | PAJU | +1.09 | 74 | 74 |
| #5 | Jone | +1.04 | 37 | 63 |





