








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1053 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 226 matches | ||
| Faceit | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




59 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,449 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4488 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3254 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 4040 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 4667 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,339,352 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 332 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Mace | 52% | 316 |
| #11 | React™ | 52% | 56 |
| #12 | ZombiebaconII | 51% | 347 |
| #13 | spencer | 50% | 107 |
| #14 | Render | 47% | 233 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZombiebaconII | 109 | 0.0150 |
| #2 | Mace | 104 | 0.0156 |
| #3 | Render | 40 | 0.0082 |
| #4 | Puppy Cait | 18 | 0.0050 |
| #5 | Rock | 14 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mace | 2080 | 0.31 | 56 min |
| #2 | ZombiebaconII | 1434 | 0.20 | 38 min |
| #3 | spencer | 863 | 0.38 | 26 min |
| #4 | box | 395 | 0.24 | 9 min |
| #5 | Ryan | 288 | 0.23 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Argo :3 | +2.34 | 77 | 47 |
| #2 | Mace | +1.51 | 67 | 71 |
| #3 | box | +1.40 | 87 | 62 |
| #4 | Neptoon | +1.33 | 79 | 58 |
| #5 | ZombiebaconII | +0.77 | 71 | 54 |





