








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 643 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 724 matches | ||
| Premier | 269 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 251 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 34 matches | ||
| Faceit | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




311 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
15967 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 47,687 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 14729 | 31% |
| Smokes | 13104 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 5183 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 14671 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,221,508 of utility $73 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2603 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wrocław tweaker | 73% | 180 |
| #2 | Salty Snake | 69% | 183 |
| #3 | Orion | 69% | 108 |
| #4 | Thrasher? | 65% | 260 |
| #5 | Unc | 65% | 444 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | barrett | 61% | 162 |
| #10 | connor | 60% | 303 |
| #11 | Tuna | 59% | 151 |
| #12 | Source 2 Test Servers aren't rea | 57% | 102 |
| #13 | syndrolic | 54% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .jib | 137 | 0.0321 |
| #2 | Unc | 108 | 0.0125 |
| #3 | connor | 102 | 0.0179 |
| #4 | shift | 52 | 0.0088 |
| #5 | sneeze30 | 52 | 0.0143 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sneeze30 | 617 | 0.17 | 13 min |
| #2 | Unc | 519 | 0.06 | 9 min |
| #3 | shift | 494 | 0.08 | 13 min |
| #4 | .jib | 452 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #5 | connor | 451 | 0.08 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hR | +3.29 | 71 | 54 |
| #2 | wrocław tweaker | +3.28 | 74 | 43 |
| #3 | Tuna | +3.12 | 74 | 61 |
| #4 | Thrasher? | +2.96 | 81 | 44 |
| #5 | Salty Snake | +2.11 | 64 | 42 |





