








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2501 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 159 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 144 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 131 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 90 matches | ||
| Premier | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 43 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 320 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




133 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
12385 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 40,438 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11551 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8884 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 10078 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 9925 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,178,270 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 896 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | walts | 85% | 84 |
| #2 | ☦Geo777☦ | 80% | 210 |
| #3 | .seth | 73% | 328 |
| #4 | Gayman | 72% | 69 |
| #5 | Squid | 71% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | shoeler | 68% | 165 |
| #11 | Islander | 67% | 244 |
| #12 | Locke | 67% | 120 |
| #13 | Skander | 63% | 257 |
| #14 | Sly - ZYN gaymin | 61% | 95 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Luke | 62 | 0.0072 |
| #2 | .seth | 27 | 0.0043 |
| #3 | ☦Geo777☦ | 20 | 0.0049 |
| #4 | shoeler | 20 | 0.0061 |
| #5 | Carbon | 19 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | .seth | 1195 | 0.19 | 31 min |
| #2 | Luke | 1054 | 0.12 | 33 min |
| #3 | Skander | 861 | 0.18 | 22 min |
| #4 | Carbon | 800 | 0.15 | 22 min |
| #5 | Squid | 497 | 0.33 | 13 min |





