










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 313 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 53 matches | ||
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1008 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 599 | 25% |
| Smokes | 536 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 862 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 420 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,021 of utility $187 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fuyucchi | 78% | 18 |
| #2 | 屠 Karnnage 杀 | 62% | 21 |
| #3 | Karton | 60% | 20 |
| #4 | Colonel Rillette | 57% | 21 |
| #5 | phonovore | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | phonovore | 50% | 8 |
| #6 | ★ Vitalic' | CS.MONEY | 50% | 14 |
| #7 | I have 6 catgirls tattooed on me | 50% | 40 |
| #8 | hemylus | 49% | 39 |
| #9 | Bouffeur2Testiboule | 43% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 屠 Karnnage 杀 | 5 | 0.0123 |
| #2 | I have 6 catgirls tattooed on me | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | hemylus | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Karton | 4 | 0.0098 |
| #5 | ★ Vitalic' | CS.MONEY | 3 | 0.0108 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 屠 Karnnage 杀 | 60 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #2 | Karton | 37 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #3 | Bouffeur2Testiboule | 25 | 0.20 | 0 min |
| #4 | hemylus | 24 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | Colonel Rillette | 24 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ★ Vitalic' | CS.MONEY | +1.76 | 77 | 27 |
| #2 | Colonel Rillette | +1.70 | 39 | 37 |
| #3 | I have 6 catgirls tattooed on me | +1.46 | 86 | 43 |
| #4 | hemylus | +0.80 | 73 | 39 |
| #5 | Pandeo | +0.26 | 55 | 44 |





