








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1678 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 414 matches | ||
| Wingman | 91 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 37 matches | ||
| Faceit | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




89 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8699 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,263 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1832 | 16% |
| Smokes | 2523 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 3274 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 3634 | 32% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,123,857 of utility $209 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 257 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FutF1 | 50% | 548 |
| #2 | Pandeo | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | I have 6 catgirls tattooed on me | 39% | 61 |
| #4 | Karton | 29% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FutF1 | 50% | 548 |
| #2 | Pandeo | 49% | 39 |
| #3 | I have 6 catgirls tattooed on me | 39% | 61 |
| #4 | Karton | 29% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FutF1 | 11 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | I have 6 catgirls tattooed on me | 5 | 0.0041 |
| #3 | Pandeo | 4 | 0.0051 |
| #4 | Karton | 3 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FutF1 | 421 | 0.04 | 9 min |
| #2 | Pandeo | 45 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #3 | Karton | 34 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #4 | I have 6 catgirls tattooed on me | 31 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | hemylus | +2.63 | 75 | 34 |
| #2 | I have 6 catgirls tattooed on me | +1.04 | 83 | 52 |
| #3 | Pandeo | -1.36 | 54 | 39 |
| #4 | FutF1 | -1.44 | 33 | 46 |
| #5 | Karton | -4.58 | 16 | 29 |





