








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 389 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 113 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3146 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,458 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2861 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2259 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 2535 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2803 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,098,861 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 24 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Bob4 | 52% | 27 |
| #10 | Tech | 50% | 107 |
| #11 | Dragonpera97 | 50% | 78 |
| #12 | caws | 48% | 25 |
| #13 | Phoenix | 47% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | 19 | 0.0086 |
| #2 | T19 | 15 | 0.0088 |
| #3 | Aman | 8 | 0.0084 |
| #4 | markow | 6 | 0.0083 |
| #5 | caws | 4 | 0.0069 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Tech | 635 | 0.29 | 16 min |
| #2 | T19 | 347 | 0.20 | 10 min |
| #3 | Dragonpera97 | 191 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #4 | markow | 136 | 0.19 | 4 min |
| #5 | Bob4 | 113 | 0.19 | 3 min |





