








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 27 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1028 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,370 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1201 | 36% |
| Smokes | 196 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 586 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1387 | 41% |
Our logs show you have wasted $632,786 of utility $197 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 513 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angbwa | 89% | 9 |
| #2 | BIG HEAD CLICKER OF DOOM | 85% | 13 |
| #3 | big dinx | 81% | 16 |
| #4 | Battlescarred Bumhole | 78% | 23 |
| #5 | CREAM | 76% | 49 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CREAM | 11 | 0.0125 |
| #2 | SJA | 3 | 0.0074 |
| #3 | Angbwa | 3 | 0.0180 |
| #4 | bdinx | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | BIG HEAD CLICKER OF DOOM | 2 | 0.0082 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cig | 82 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #2 | bdinx | 54 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | CREAM | 41 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | Battlescarred Bumhole | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Angbwa | 30 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angbwa | +9.83 | 88 | 72 |
| #2 | big dinx | +6.51 | 89 | 61 |
| #3 | Battlescarred Bumhole | +6.12 | 76 | 70 |
| #4 | BIG HEAD CLICKER OF DOOM | +6.02 | 78 | 60 |
| #5 | bdinx | +5.72 | 77 | 65 |





