








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Train | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1049 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,335 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 574 | 17% |
| Smokes | 748 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 1267 | 38% |
| Molotovs | 746 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $806,573 of utility $234 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | Bolton | 50% | 14 |
| #13 | Trilted | 50% | 24 |
| #14 | DDOUBLEE | 40% | 10 |
| #15 | bond | 37% | 35 |
| #16 | bogurt | 25% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CREAM | 12 | 0.0110 |
| #2 | Trilted | 7 | 0.0150 |
| #3 | allstR | 4 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | Bolton | 3 | 0.0118 |
| #5 | lewis | 2 | 0.0023 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | allstR | 97 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #2 | Battlescarred Bumhole | 64 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | CREAM | 61 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #4 | lewis | 53 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Leon! | 53 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angbwa | +7.32 | 84 | 70 |
| #2 | bdinx | +6.62 | 78 | 65 |
| #3 | Bolton | +6.59 | 94 | 47 |
| #4 | Battlescarred Bumhole | +4.56 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | SJA | +4.32 | 82 | 45 |





