








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1276 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2360 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1018 | 21% |
| Smokes | 1335 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1294 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1225 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,045,415 of utility $289 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 428 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | | Mini | the swag boi | 82% | 11 |
| #2 | Angbwa | 80% | 10 |
| #3 | CREAM | 79% | 105 |
| #4 | allstR | 78% | 23 |
| #5 | SJA | 75% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CREAM | 26 | 0.0131 |
| #2 | Trilted | 26 | 0.0199 |
| #3 | Bolton | 5 | 0.0092 |
| #4 | allstR | 3 | 0.0071 |
| #5 | Pitton | 3 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trilted | 85 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Leon! | 84 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bolton | 75 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #4 | CREAM | 55 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | cig | 53 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angbwa | +7.48 | 95 | 74 |
| #2 | Bolton | +6.23 | 89 | 54 |
| #3 | Battlescarred Bumhole | +4.96 | 76 | 68 |
| #4 | CREAM | +3.76 | 77 | 38 |
| #5 | SJA | +3.56 | 79 | 37 |





