








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1023 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 727 | 15% |
| Smokes | 1518 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1483 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 1193 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $144,667 of utility $29 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angbwa | 88% | 16 |
| #2 | bdinx | 81% | 26 |
| #3 | Battlescarred Bumhole | 79% | 105 |
| #4 | Leon! | 78% | 27 |
| #5 | lewis | 77% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trilted | 25 | 0.0208 |
| #2 | Bolton | 17 | 0.0158 |
| #3 | allstR | 8 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Battlescarred Bumhole | 7 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | bdinx | 4 | 0.0085 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Battlescarred Bumhole | 175 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | Bolton | 127 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #3 | cig | 83 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Trilted | 81 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | allstR | 77 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Angbwa | +7.71 | 90 | 72 |
| #2 | Battlescarred Bumhole | +5.29 | 78 | 69 |
| #3 | Bolton | +4.65 | 87 | 52 |
| #4 | CREAM | +4.36 | 79 | 42 |
| #5 | bdinx | +4.19 | 72 | 70 |





