








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1150 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 527 matches | ||
| Faceit | 155 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 127 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Wingman | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 74 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




43 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13192 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,005 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4320 | 17% |
| Smokes | 8777 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 6739 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5169 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $6,099,142 of utility $241 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 610 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | K | 59% | 107 |
| #2 | ryst1c | 56% | 241 |
| #3 | Phosphophyllite | 56% | 63 |
| #4 | Philton Vollgas | 53% | 499 |
| #5 | Murat Erdem | 53% | 394 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Schokiii.exe | 52% | 440 |
| #7 | 99 Punkte Saison | 46% | 123 |
| #8 | nichtkay | 46% | 98 |
| #9 | Creatyx | 42% | 88 |
| #10 | Ka1 -iwnl- | 35% | 92 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schokiii.exe | 39 | 0.0042 |
| #2 | Philton Vollgas | 18 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | Murat Erdem | 8 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | ryst1c | 5 | 0.0010 |
| #5 | 99 Punkte Saison | 4 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schokiii.exe | 1641 | 0.18 | 36 min |
| #2 | Philton Vollgas | 1263 | 0.12 | 34 min |
| #3 | Murat Erdem | 973 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #4 | ryst1c | 603 | 0.12 | 16 min |
| #5 | 99 Punkte Saison | 364 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philton Vollgas | +1.85 | 80 | 60 |
| #2 | High_Kick_Hassan | +1.61 | 79 | 53 |
| #3 | ryst1c | +0.77 | 79 | 73 |
| #4 | Creatyx | +0.10 | 61 | 60 |
| #5 | K | +0.04 | 63 | 62 |





