








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1451 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 636 matches | ||
| Faceit | 230 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 48 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




174 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10558 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 58,027 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 15659 | 27% |
| Smokes | 14245 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 14535 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 13588 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,645,067 of utility $107 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5081 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | High_Kick_Hassan | 52% | 440 |
| #2 | Philton Vollgas | 52% | 584 |
| #3 | Murat Erdem | 51% | 488 |
| #4 | K | 51% | 153 |
| #5 | Phosphophyllite | 49% | 79 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | K | 51% | 153 |
| #5 | Phosphophyllite | 49% | 79 |
| #6 | ryst1c | 49% | 296 |
| #7 | nichtkay | 49% | 92 |
| #8 | 99 Punkte Saison | 43% | 125 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Murat Erdem | 21 | 0.0021 |
| #2 | Philton Vollgas | 17 | 0.0014 |
| #3 | High_Kick_Hassan | 14 | 0.0015 |
| #4 | ryst1c | 7 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | K | 5 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philton Vollgas | 1346 | 0.11 | 36 min |
| #2 | Murat Erdem | 1107 | 0.11 | 23 min |
| #3 | ryst1c | 774 | 0.12 | 20 min |
| #4 | High_Kick_Hassan | 488 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #5 | K | 472 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philton Vollgas | +1.75 | 79 | 60 |
| #2 | High_Kick_Hassan | +0.87 | 76 | 53 |
| #3 | ryst1c | +0.53 | 77 | 72 |
| #4 | Schokiii.exe | +0.29 | 75 | 70 |
| #5 | K | -0.02 | 66 | 61 |





