










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 84 matches | ||
| Faceit | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1880 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,873 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2880 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2866 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2542 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2585 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $665,058 of utility $135 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 319 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philton Vollgas | 11 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Schokiii.exe | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Murat Erdem | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | High_Kick_Hassan | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | nichtkay | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philton Vollgas | 409 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #2 | Schokiii.exe | 390 | 0.15 | 9 min |
| #3 | Murat Erdem | 346 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #4 | ryst1c | 149 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | K | 128 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Philton Vollgas | +1.99 | 80 | 58 |
| #2 | ryst1c | +1.11 | 81 | 73 |
| #3 | High_Kick_Hassan | +0.93 | 75 | 49 |
| #4 | Schokiii.exe | -0.37 | 75 | 68 |
| #5 | Murat Erdem | -0.43 | 66 | 51 |





