








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1240 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 329 matches | ||
| Faceit | 157 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 51 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




28 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8142 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 31,756 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8425 | 27% |
| Smokes | 8374 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6796 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 8161 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,164,105 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 498 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blessed | 58% | 227 |
| #2 | K | 56% | 110 |
| #3 | LB | 56% | 229 |
| #4 | High_Kick_Hassan | 56% | 241 |
| #5 | Murat Erdem | 54% | 224 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Murat Erdem | 54% | 224 |
| #6 | Philton Vollgas | 52% | 281 |
| #7 | Schokiii.exe | 49% | 296 |
| #8 | MC Saufnase | 46% | 46 |
| #9 | 99 Punkte Saison | 45% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blessed | 56 | 0.0121 |
| #2 | LB | 23 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | Schokiii.exe | 20 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | MC Saufnase | 11 | 0.0128 |
| #5 | High_Kick_Hassan | 5 | 0.0010 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schokiii.exe | 1100 | 0.17 | 24 min |
| #2 | Philton Vollgas | 863 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #3 | LB | 849 | 0.18 | 21 min |
| #4 | Murat Erdem | 582 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #5 | blessed | 453 | 0.10 | 8 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | blessed | +2.59 | 78 | 52 |
| #2 | Philton Vollgas | +1.24 | 78 | 64 |
| #3 | ryst1c | +0.97 | 79 | 71 |
| #4 | High_Kick_Hassan | +0.67 | 75 | 50 |
| #5 | LB | +0.50 | 76 | 63 |





