








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 408 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 212 matches | ||
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




36 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4786 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,342 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2592 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4362 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 3574 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 4814 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,386,184 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 710 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maxDS | 65% | 52 |
| #2 | Preston350 | 59% | 73 |
| #3 | w0cky 5Lu5h | 59% | 116 |
| #4 | Aman | 58% | 55 |
| #5 | Jp | 57% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | ROWDY | 55% | 33 |
| #9 | Hamstr with no e | 54% | 35 |
| #10 | Zard | 41% | 27 |
| #11 | 2 | 39% | 23 |
| #12 | timthebigone | 35% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w0cky 5Lu5h | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | Preston350 | 5 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | 2 | 5 | 0.0091 |
| #4 | Aman | 4 | 0.0033 |
| #5 | John Rocker | 4 | 0.0033 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | w0cky 5Lu5h | 387 | 0.15 | 10 min |
| #2 | maxDS | 272 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #3 | John Rocker | 251 | 0.21 | 6 min |
| #4 | Preston350 | 210 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | Aman | 169 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maxDS | +2.19 | 80 | 77 |
| #2 | Aman | +1.62 | 72 | 55 |
| #3 | Jebediah Kerman | +1.37 | 72 | 56 |
| #4 | Protege | +1.25 | 64 | 79 |
| #5 | Preston350 | +1.15 | 82 | 52 |





