








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 170 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 74 matches | ||
| Premier | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1409 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,169 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 839 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1316 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 826 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1188 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $386,935 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 59 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pognu | 73% | 11 |
| #2 | -maxDS- | 63% | 35 |
| #3 | Regnar | 58% | 55 |
| #4 | dedrateR | 56% | 55 |
| #5 | Raichu?! | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Regnar | 58% | 55 |
| #4 | dedrateR | 56% | 55 |
| #5 | Raichu?! | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | Oogurt | 52% | 52 |
| #7 | Protege | 48% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Regnar | 4 | 0.0037 |
| #2 | Protege | 4 | 0.0077 |
| #3 | dedrateR | 3 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Oogurt | 1 | 0.0009 |
| #5 | -maxDS- | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oogurt | 210 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | -maxDS- | 189 | 0.26 | 6 min |
| #3 | dedrateR | 157 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Regnar | 106 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Protege | 56 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -maxDS- | +2.03 | 81 | 80 |
| #2 | Aman | +1.34 | 72 | 57 |
| #3 | dedrateR | +1.12 | 85 | 58 |
| #4 | Protege | +0.58 | 69 | 80 |
| #5 | Oogurt | -0.45 | 75 | 58 |





