








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 508 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 267 matches | ||
| Premier | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 11 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2805 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,426 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2415 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3275 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1552 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 2184 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,151,141 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 101 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Raichu?! | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | -maxDS- | 63% | 56 |
| #3 | Regnar | 59% | 73 |
| #4 | Protege | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | brinbran | 57% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Regnar | 59% | 73 |
| #4 | Protege | 57% | 35 |
| #5 | brinbran | 57% | 60 |
| #6 | Aman | 56% | 55 |
| #7 | Oogurt | 53% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Oogurt | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Protege | 4 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | Regnar | 3 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | Aman | 3 | 0.0026 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -maxDS- | 250 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #2 | Oogurt | 244 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | brinbran | 170 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | Aman | 153 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Regnar | 138 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -maxDS- | +2.00 | 83 | 80 |
| #2 | Protege | +1.67 | 72 | 80 |
| #3 | dedrateR | +1.16 | 83 | 56 |
| #4 | Aman | +0.87 | 75 | 59 |
| #5 | Oogurt | +0.51 | 74 | 62 |





