








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 12 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
730 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,211 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 524 | 43% |
| Smokes | 450 | 37% |
| HE Grenades | 87 | 7% |
| Molotovs | 150 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,156 of utility $43 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kennyWonderchild | 48% | 25 |
| #2 | ✪ Jay Huncho | 48% | 23 |
| #3 | benzo | 47% | 19 |
| #4 | マチ゠コマチネ | 38% | 53 |
| #5 | Nailz | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | Darby | 25% | 8 |
| #11 | Bangers. | 25% | 12 |
| #12 | TEACHER | 25% | 16 |
| #13 | Jeff E. | 23% | 13 |
| #14 | cheeseman | 22% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | マチ゠コマチネ | 9 | 0.0084 |
| #2 | Mr.Dolphin | 6 | 0.0169 |
| #3 | benzo | 3 | 0.0078 |
| #4 | cheeseman | 3 | 0.0178 |
| #5 | ☹ | 2 | 0.0099 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mr.Dolphin | 60 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | ✪ Jay Huncho | 48 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | マチ゠コマチネ | 36 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | kennyWonderchild | 35 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | TEACHER | 28 | 0.09 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benzo | +5.45 | 90 | 45 |
| #2 | kennyWonderchild | +1.36 | 63 | 47 |
| #3 | ☹ | +1.09 | 83 | 49 |
| #4 | Philadelphia Collins | +0.54 | 81 | 35 |
| #5 | Nailz | +0.36 | 67 | 61 |





