








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1372 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,265 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 496 | 22% |
| Smokes | 656 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 503 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 610 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $147,947 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 39 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TrickyOD | 53% | 17 |
| #2 | ✪ Jay Huncho | 52% | 33 |
| #3 | ☹ | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | realnwordalert | 45% | 44 |
| #5 | Bangers. | 44% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Nailz | 40% | 15 |
| #9 | benzo | 36% | 33 |
| #10 | マチ゠コマチネ | 35% | 62 |
| #11 | BootyMuncher | 32% | 19 |
| #12 | Jeff E. | 27% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | マチ゠コマチネ | 7 | 0.0056 |
| #2 | benzo | 5 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | kennyWonderchild | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | realnwordalert | 2 | 0.0022 |
| #5 | Nailz | 2 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Darby | 74 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #2 | ✪ Jay Huncho | 69 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | マチ゠コマチネ | 68 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #4 | kennyWonderchild | 62 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | benzo | 51 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benzo | +5.07 | 91 | 48 |
| #2 | kennyWonderchild | +2.44 | 63 | 54 |
| #3 | Nailz | +1.11 | 66 | 56 |
| #4 | TrickyOD | +0.49 | 79 | 49 |
| #5 | Philadelphia Collins | +0.35 | 71 | 40 |





