








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 44 matches | ||
| Premier | 33 matches | ||
| Faceit | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1598 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,088 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 573 | 27% |
| Smokes | 726 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 619 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 170 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $382,111 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 64 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | TrickyOD | 40% | 15 |
| #11 | マチ゠コマチネ | 40% | 85 |
| #12 | ExPaT40 | 38% | 8 |
| #13 | realnwordalert | 36% | 36 |
| #14 | Darby | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | マチ゠コマチネ | 11 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | benzo | 5 | 0.0038 |
| #3 | Philadelphia Collins | 3 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Bangers. | 3 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | BootyMuncher | 3 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | マチ゠コマチネ | 98 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | ✪ Jay Huncho | 93 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #3 | benzo | 90 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #4 | Philadelphia Collins | 62 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #5 | Bangers. | 57 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | benzo | +6.24 | 91 | 52 |
| #2 | ExPaT40 | +2.88 | 44 | 58 |
| #3 | kennyWonderchild | +1.88 | 65 | 50 |
| #4 | Nailz | +0.91 | 54 | 69 |
| #5 | Philadelphia Collins | +0.28 | 66 | 46 |





