








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 71 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 158 matches | ||
| Premier | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Wingman | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2570 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,845 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2592 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2596 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1764 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 2893 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,023,633 of utility $158 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 127 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | fatmontana | 43% | 136 |
| #6 | Carved | 43% | 54 |
| #7 | RagZ | 42% | 233 |
| #8 | Lpomborac1ng | 37% | 49 |
| #9 | fatmontana | 35% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RagZ | 15 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Reaper | 14 | 0.0059 |
| #3 | fatmontana | 8 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | <>< | 5 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Carved | 1 | 0.0009 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RagZ | 1230 | 0.24 | 28 min |
| #2 | fatmontana | 303 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #3 | <>< | 237 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #4 | Reaper | 208 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #5 | Carved | 153 | 0.14 | 4 min |





