








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 3 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 68 matches | ||
| Premier | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1970 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 810 | 20% |
| Smokes | 368 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 1504 | 37% |
| Molotovs | 1426 | 35% |
Our logs show you have wasted $28,952 of utility $5 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ᴱᵗᵉʳⁿᵃˡ | 53% | 15 |
| #2 | Carved | 48% | 46 |
| #3 | fatmontana | 47% | 15 |
| #4 | <>< | 45% | 42 |
| #5 | 𝖜𝖆𝖓 | 45% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Carved | 5 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | RagZ | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #3 | 𝖜𝖆𝖓 | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #4 | Reaper | 3 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ᴱᵗᵉʳⁿᵃˡ | 3 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RagZ | 678 | 0.28 | 17 min |
| #2 | 𝖜𝖆𝖓 | 377 | 0.30 | 7 min |
| #3 | fatmontana | 140 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Carved | 130 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | <>< | 122 | 0.14 | 3 min |





