








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 69 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 22 matches | ||
| Premier | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




21 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3735 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,073 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3388 | 24% |
| Smokes | 4421 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 3061 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3203 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $603,593 of utility $86 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Reaper | 16 | 0.0089 |
| #2 | RagZ | 13 | 0.0056 |
| #3 | fatmontana | 6 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | Steak From Jake Farm | 6 | 0.0035 |
| #5 | Carved | 5 | 0.0039 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RagZ | 561 | 0.24 | 12 min |
| #2 | fatmontana | 200 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #3 | Steak From Jake Farm | 196 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #4 | _Bambi | 173 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | Carved | 162 | 0.13 | 4 min |





