








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 376 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 204 matches | ||
| Faceit | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3284 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,411 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3654 | 25% |
| Smokes | 4158 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3101 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3498 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $717,851 of utility $105 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | LoSo | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Fin Gerhole | 62% | 29 |
| #3 | drm- | 59% | 27 |
| #4 | brokeyy | 55% | 184 |
| #5 | macks | 52% | 206 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | macks | 52% | 206 |
| #6 | ThatCowHugger | 52% | 89 |
| #7 | Teej | 48% | 60 |
| #8 | ✪Artanis | 46% | 39 |
| #9 | Holy | 42% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macks | 14 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | brokeyy | 7 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | Teej | 4 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | ThatCowHugger | 3 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | drm- | 2 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brokeyy | 776 | 0.20 | 18 min |
| #2 | macks | 571 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #3 | ThatCowHugger | 352 | 0.18 | 8 min |
| #4 | Teej | 248 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #5 | Holy | 134 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brokeyy | +1.55 | 78 | 69 |
| #2 | Teej | +1.46 | 60 | 62 |
| #3 | LoSo | +1.32 | 70 | 63 |
| #4 | drm- | +1.30 | 76 | 69 |
| #5 | Fin Gerhole | +0.61 | 75 | 62 |





