








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 601 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 333 matches | ||
| Faceit | 101 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4515 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,853 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4428 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3497 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 4314 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 3614 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,326,320 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1448 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brokeyy | 55% | 82 |
| #2 | macks | 54% | 52 |
| #3 | Pinky | 52% | 89 |
| #4 | LoSo | 51% | 149 |
| #5 | Adrian | 50% | 48 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | LoSo | 51% | 149 |
| #5 | Adrian | 50% | 48 |
| #6 | fkg | 50% | 66 |
| #7 | Polaris | 49% | 47 |
| #8 | mxnstrx | 43% | 93 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adrian | 10 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | Pinky | 6 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | macks | 5 | 0.0044 |
| #4 | mxnstrx | 3 | 0.0015 |
| #5 | LoSo | 2 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | mxnstrx | 548 | 0.27 | 12 min |
| #2 | LoSo | 521 | 0.16 | 10 min |
| #3 | brokeyy | 360 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | Pinky | 335 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #5 | fkg | 287 | 0.20 | 7 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Adrian | +3.33 | 92 | 46 |
| #2 | brokeyy | +1.49 | 78 | 67 |
| #3 | LoSo | +1.14 | 72 | 66 |
| #4 | fkg | +0.83 | 67 | 60 |
| #5 | Polaris | +0.75 | 56 | 46 |





