








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 349 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 123 matches | ||
| Premier | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 20 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2045 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,235 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2030 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1961 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2079 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 2165 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $444,588 of utility $100 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CeeJ | 67% | 12 |
| #2 | shifty | 67% | 18 |
| #3 | +W_Toxic | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | COMRADSNIPER | 62% | 21 |
| #5 | Dark Potato | 61% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #11 | +W TOxic | 50% | 12 |
| #12 | macks | 50% | 70 |
| #13 | Pinky | 48% | 60 |
| #14 | ThatCowHugger | 42% | 24 |
| #15 | StevoP | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | macks | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | Pinky | 2 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | no captai | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #4 | Sudain | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #5 | ThatCowHugger | 1 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | brokeyy | 327 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | Pinky | 241 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| #3 | no captai | 238 | 0.25 | 6 min |
| #4 | macks | 162 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| #5 | Dark Potato | 104 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | +W TOxic | +3.08 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | Dark Potato | +1.97 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | COMRADSNIPER | +1.70 | 68 | 58 |
| #4 | shifty | +1.51 | 78 | 66 |
| #5 | +W_Toxic | +1.46 | 86 | 57 |





